Met Nater
by Firecracker
Summary: Lot'sa thinking. B/F SLASH people!
1. Not Just Her Shadow Anymore

Title: Not Just Her Shadow Anymore.  
  
Author: Firecracker  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Yet.  
  
Rating: R there's some cursing.  
  
Spoilers: Nah, I don't think so. One or two, early seasons.  
  
Archive: Sure, just mail me a little note on where so I can get my dose of ego boost.  
  
Feedback: Just a line might help me write more.  
  
Summary: Faith talks about Buffy after she's dead.  
  
Dedication: To my precious kitten, Mood Indigo, who's been showing off some major claws and a bitch streak lately. Love 'ya more for it babe, forgiven always.  
  
(not beta'ed, just some lame idea I got one night.)  
  
|--------------------------------------------------|  
  
I got a letter today.  
  
From the Council, nonetheless.  
  
It's kinda crumpled now, I guess paper wasn't made for being crumpled and straightened, oh, let's say a thousand times?  
  
SunnyD is probably wigged out still. Her precious Scoobies are probably crying their eyes out at the mention of her name.  
  
I bet they still think she was such a saint.  
  
Jeez, poor naive things.  
  
Really, they know shit.  
  
I can give you the nickel tour of Elizabeth Anne "Buffy" Summers if you want, bet it'll change how you look at her.  
  
She loved the fighting as much as I do.  
  
The rush. It's un-fucking-believeable.  
  
You're on the top of the world, and nothing can beat you. Nothing.  
  
That's the main reason to why no slayers never became drug addicts.  
  
I mean, sure, the metabolism is a bitch, we'd need ten times than what a mere mortal would, but it wouldn't matter. No drug could get us higher than the rush of fighting. And nothing is more addictive.  
  
Afterwards, you just get hungry and horny.  
  
Of course, 'holier-than-thou' would never admit that.  
  
"I really just feel like a low fat yoghurt and then go to sleep."  
  
Bullshit.  
  
All tiny and petite, she could easily fool you. And she probably did. But let me tell you, Buffy Summers would eat twice her weight every day if she could, and you bet she did pretty damn often.  
  
And then just go to sleep?  
  
Hell no. Have you ever tried going to sleep after a night of slaying vampires?  
  
Of course you fucking haven't. And I can't even start to tell you what you're missing out on.  
  
But you get wicked horny. And blondie must have been a world champion in getting herself off, or I doubt she could ever have slept much.  
  
A wild thing in bed too.  
  
X-man and red would never have guessed.  
  
She would sneak into my motel room late at night, strip off and get into my bed, kissing me awake, or she would just follow me there after slaying.  
  
Sometimes we fucked in the graveyards, sometimes in one of the numerous crypts.  
  
She knew what she wanted, and damn did she make it clear.  
  
And Angel?  
  
Never heard her even mutter anything about him. Like brooding-R-us never existed.  
  
We'd lie in bed afterwards, cuddled, I never smoked then.  
  
And we talked.  
  
Real deep shit, not just "That was one great fuck, how do you think the weather's going to be tomorrow? Rain?"  
  
She understood me, and I understood her.  
  
She drank like a fish too. Anything with more than 10% alcohol went straight down. We need some way to forget sometimes, all the shit that's been put on us by the fucked up Powers That Be.  
  
  
  
Jail sucks.  
  
Reckon I'll do it a bit longer though.  
  
I know a guy on the outside, he'll make me literally disappear from any records.  
  
And afterwards?  
  
I really don't know. But I am something now.  
  
The chosen one. Not just the second choice, slayer Nr. 2.  
  
Not just her shadow anymore.  
  
END  
  
So, what did 'ya think? Worth continuing? Want more? Please feed my ego. =D 


	2. What It Was Like To Be Me

Title: What It Was Like To Be Me  
  
Series: Met Nater  
  
Author: Firecracker  
  
Rating: I don't know if it needs one. =D  
  
Feedback: Well, I need to know if there's a point in writing more, now don't I? Oh, and be honest, never try to suck up.  
  
Archive: Just tell me where.  
  
Disclaimers: I don't own anything. Yet.  
  
Spoilers: Uh, Buffy's dead.  
  
Summary: Buffy. Heaven. You do the math.  
  
Dedication: Kitten! Oh, and Ariana, of course.  
  
  
  
It's peaceful here.  
  
Not bright with fluffy clouds with angels on them, it's more like a nice, cosy fog that's wrapped itself around me, protecting me against high sounds and impacts.  
  
I feel sleepy, like all the time, but I never really sleep.  
  
Just that nice place in between.  
  
And I feel my friends and everyone I care about, I feel that they're ok, that their lifes are going on.  
  
Even Angel.  
  
I got a lot of pain from him in the beginning. It's till there, just not so intense anymore,, just a dull ache, that sometimes opens up and hurts him more.  
  
Spike, he's hurting too. He always thought he'd have his go with me. I know better, but now it's probably dawning on him too.  
  
I feel Cordy. She's hurting, I'm not surprised, she always cared more than she showed. The bitch was more of a façade.  
  
She has Kate now you know. I think they're good for eachother, both of them felt so much terror so close, when they shouldn't even have had to know about the evil that I fought every night, like every slayer before me.  
  
In eachother they can find the love I know they both need, what most people see of them is just walls they spent years on building.  
  
Xander is mad, but he's grieving too, but I think he's moving on.  
  
He has Anya.  
  
When you see them, you know they're meant to be. They are so different, and yet alike in many ways. I had love like their's once, and I hope they get to keep it longer than I did.  
  
Giles, I don't always know. On the inside of the bullet-proof tweed, he is a lot more complicated than you'd think.  
  
Dawn cries herself to sleep every night, I hurt so much for her, for having to live through it all.  
  
I just wish she wouldn't blame herself.  
  
First mom, now me. But she has Willow and Tara. I know she'll grow up and have a great life.  
  
She's a Summers woman, and we are strong.  
  
Tara is a rock for them all, and still she manages her own pain, but she's always there for them all.  
  
Willow, she's worse than anyone though.  
  
I think she blames herself, just like Dawn.  
  
If I could, I'd tell them not to. I'm ok.  
  
I'd tell them to live on, and every once in a while remember me.  
  
Death is my gift, and I have come to terms with that.  
  
But the one person that I feel the most connected to, is the one that everyone thought was as far from my friend as could be.  
  
Truth is, Faith was always more than just a friend.  
  
There was always a special bond there, even from before I saw her stake that vamp outside the Bronze. When I saw her that night, I felt a weird peace inside.  
  
Like I had found my equal.  
  
It was never like that with Kendra.  
  
Never.  
  
And the funny thing is, Faith's thoughts and feelings are the most clear to me. I wish we could have had more time together.  
  
I know we could have fixed it, given time.  
  
I feel her anger too, the times she thinks about our relationship when she first came to Sunnydale.  
  
She wish I would have told everyone then.  
  
But it wasn't that easy, not with everything going on.  
  
Now I see it would have been easy, but it's too late now.  
  
I never loved Angel like I love Faith.  
  
Angel was a friend. I confused it.  
  
Faith was so much more. She is so different than everyone sees her, strong, and yet total mush when you reach far enough in.  
  
The scared little child resurfaces every now and then, just be kind to her, for a short while, it really doesn't take much to scare those demons away.  
  
Be proud of her. Trust. Love. Freedom.  
  
That's what the mayor gave her, and that's the only reason she did what she did.  
  
So it all adds up to be my fault. If I showed her how much I loved her, then she might never have done all of what she did.  
  
Sometimes, I walk in her dreams. I hold her while we sit under our tree, I play with her hair, smile to her, kiss her briefly, trying to let her know.  
  
"I'm ok." I whisper to her.  
  
Sometimes we tell jokes until we lay on the ground clutching our tummies, laughing so hard it feels like our ribs are going to break.  
  
At those times, I wonder how no one else could see it.  
  
See that she's the only one who knew what it was like to be me.  
  
End.  
  
You still want more? 


	3. Just When You Thought You had Me All Fig...

Title: Just When You Thought You Had Me Figured Out  
Series: Met Nater  
Faith POV

Note: I've neglected you. I totally forgot to post all of this here. Sorry to all of you who 

feedbacked, if any of you see this. Thanks for all the nice comments.  
---------------------------------

"You've got a visitor." I look up, and the only guard around here that's not butch is standing in front of me.

See, I knew I was slacking. A week ago she wouldn't have got past the door into the quarters without me knowing exactly who it was only by listening to the steps.

Now, she got into my cell without any bells going off in my head.

"K." I get up slowly, and let her cuff me. Not too tight. I like that about her, she's not as rough as the others, not if she doesn't know it's needed.

Catcalls as we walk through the hall, I'm used to them, and it's not like I have a chance on this one anyways, but the other prisoners seem to think we have a thing. At least it gets me a bit respect.

Not that I need it, I could fight everyone of them on the same day and still not get tired. But it's not like any inmate would violate a guards property, so I' not changing what they believe.

I wonder who's visiting. Well, not really. It's too early for Angel, so it's either Gunn, Wes, Cordy and/or Kate. Fred only visits every Wednesday, so it's not her either.

Lisa, the guard, guides me along the lines of booths with phones, thick Plexiglas separating prisoner and visitor. I get down in the chair, move a little to get comfortable, and pick the phone off the hanger without looking up.

"Hi Faith." My head jerk up fast enough to damage my neck for the  
rest of my life.

"Shit! Red! You scared the shit out of me! You nearly gave me a frickin' heart attack or somethin'! Damn!" I breath hard, trying to catch my breath. Of all things, this was fucked up not what I was expecting.

Willow. Buffy's best buddy. Sooo not what I expected. Wicked uncool. She's probably here to yell at me or something. Then I see that her eyes are slightly red, like she's been crying. She looks at me scared. Shit, I shouldn't have blown up at her like that.

"Shit Red, I didn't mean that. I was just wigged to see ya, you know?" I try to calm, knowing it won't help me if I stay in this place in between anger and calm.

"I know Faith. Everyone back in Sunnydale is like that too." She looks a wicked nervous, but in a different way that she would have looked last time I saw her.

I guess she grew up.

"Is it something you want to ask me or did you come all this way to gossip?" "Uhm, yeah, there is. But I don't want you to think that you mean less to us." Could she be shyer?

"Spit it out Red, I ain't got all day, and I feel a babble coming on, so just spill it." Ooh, startled face again. But at least it looks like she's going to talk.

"WewantyuotocometoSunnydaleandIwasjustwonderingifitwasokwithyouIalreadyhackedyourfilesandyou'llbeoutinacoupleofdaysjustwantedtoknowifyouwo  
uldhelpuswereallyneedyou." Damn, now she's blushing too.

"You got all that in one breath? You hurt or something Red?" I know my ears are.

"NononoI'mokjustalittle-" …and here we go again.

"Red! Shut up will ya? My head's starting to hurt." I lean back in my chair, and I know she'll ask me soon, jus' letting her sweat a little.

"So, um, will you?" Hmm, let's play a little game.

"Will I what Red?" Smirk.

She just looks dumbstruck.

"Forget it. This was pointless. I knew you wouldn't do it." She starts to get up, and I feel a sudden rush, like adrealin, wicked high, like slaying high, just not as intense. Fear I suppose.

"I was just kidding with you Red. I'll come to Sunnyhell, just glad to get outta here." I wave to Lisa and she's over here walking me down the hall before Willow can even get up from the chair she fell into out of shock just moments ago.

I look back as we walk towards the door, and grin at Red who's still in the chair, her mouth opening and closing like a stranded goldfish. Must be shocking Red. To hear what you really wanted when you expected something else.

Just when you thought you had me all figured out…

TBC?


	4. Sometimes You Gotta Let The Feeling Thro...

Title: Sometimes You Gotta Let The Feeling through (4/?)  
  
Series: Met Nater  
  
Willow POV  
  
-----------------------  
  
Buffy's dead.  
She's in hell.  
It's my fault, I should have done something. But I didn't.  
And she jumped.  
  
To save us.  
  
Without her, we'd all be dead, or worse. You think that nothing is worse than death.  
You can't even imagine how wrong you are. Death can be a good thing, but it can be bad too. Demons might take your body, and some part of you is still in there. Or you could go to hell, and be Lucifer's or whoever rules down there slave for the rest of eternity. I somehow doubt the coolness of that.  
  
But Buffy's there. For us.  
  
At first, I didn't know what to do. I saw her jump into the portal, and her dead body lying in a sick position on the ground after I ran down the stairs. I remember holding her tight, crying, and after that it's all a blur. I'm still not so sure, but I knew what I had to do.  
  
I had to get Faith.  
  
She's a slayer, and someone has to protect the hellmouth, even if Buffy's dead doesn't mean we have the right to risk the rest of the world too. So I hacked into her files, and pushed her release date, oh lets see, around 12-13 years forward?  
  
So she'll be free real soon. And she agreed to come to Sunnydale. Still a lot of things to talk about and fix, but I thought I had her all figured out and expected a no, but she surprised me.  
  
I guess Buffy wasn't so wrong about her after all.  
  
I miss her. But I don't know if there's anything I can do yet. I know Faith misses her too, but I doubt she'll talk about it. Maybe to Tara. Everyone is talking to Tara these days. But I don't blame them. She always knows what to say and do. She cries too you know. But she deals, she talks, and deals.  
  
I'm driving back to Sunnydale, to tell them how it went. They're probably tearing the walls down, I know I would be. We see how much we needed her now that she's gone.  
  
When she died it all fell together. We're building it up, but ever so slowly. Maybe Faith can help us build. She's not Buffy, and we're not trying to replace her either.  
  
But together we're stronger, that's what we gotta believe. I've learned one thing in life, that I'll always try to remember.  
  
Sometimes you gotta let the feeling through.  
  
TBC? 


	5. Fascinated When She Passed Me By

Title: Fascinated When You Passed Me By (5/?)  
  
Series: Met Nater  
  
Cordelia POV  
  
-------------------  
  
I don't wanna think right now.  
  
I don't want to worry.  
  
I just want to watch my angel as she sleeps. Weird thing, this love.  
  
Who would have thought that Cordelia Chase would end up with a cop, huh? And a female one, none the less? And a fur ball of a retriever named Dorian? Ok, granted, she's cute, but you know, pretty demanding sometimes. Though every time I complain about her, Kate just kisses me and says that she knows that I love the brat, and all of a sudden I can't remember what I was complaining about in the first place.  
  
We're moving back to Sunnydale soon. Kate got a job from the Watcher's Council, just monitoring evil and stuff. To help Faith, so she knows what she's slaying at all times.  
  
Yeah, I can totally imagine it, Kate looking through heaps of books, researching some big bad with Dorian running around her legs all the time.  
  
But right now, I don't have to share her with anyone. Except Dorian, of course. But that doesn't count. She's really exited about the job, and I know she'll do great, and I know Faith needs some support, and in one way, I think Kate is the only one who could give her that. Kate was the one who gave her a chance when everyone else had given up, or just didn't bother.  
  
I lean over and kiss her lips, so soft she won't wake up. We both have tomorrow off. Figured I'd do something productive. Like making love to the love of my life. I wanna see how long I can keep it going before she wakes up.  
  
Right. Buffy. She died. Again. Kind of getting used to it now. I bet you my Gucci shoes on that she'll be brought back or revived this time too. She's Buffy.  
  
People like her just don't stay dead. That's a more reliable rule than gravity. I'm pulling the sheet down ever so slowly, revealing her firm, yet soft, full breasts, watching the nipples harden at the cool air.  
  
I trace one finger around one of the stiff points, never quite touching. I know what Buffy and Faith did the first time she showed up in Sunnyhell. I mean sure, they fucked like bunnies, but they had something special, some kind of bond. Like they always knew what the other felt or something.  
  
They cared more for each other than any of Buffy's precious gang ever saw. I saw it at once. Not that hard, when I saw them in a dark alley, Buffy holding Faith up against a wall, Faith had her legs wrapped around Buffy's waist, and her pants was pulled down enough for Buffy to have the access she obviously demanded.  
  
I pull the sheet longer down, exposing her milky white tummy, then down her thighs, past the blonde curls. I lean over and suck gently on her nipple, feeling it harden even more.  
  
Buffy thrust her fingers into Faith hard and fast, all the time alternating between kissing, sucking and biting her neck and kissing her open mouth. One hand caressing the full breasts through her shirt. Faith clutched Buffy's shoulder's, panting, small whimpers escaping her every now and then, her eyes closed.

I watched them, fascinated.  
  
They were pure lust, but there was love too, right beneath the surface, in Buffy's eyes as she watched Faith come, Faith was biting her finger, I was amazed she didn't scream, she just inhaled sharply a couple of times.  
  
I let my hand explore the soft skin on her stomach, and I feel the muscles contract under my barely-there touch. As I get further down, she spreads her legs slightly, still sleeping, and I wonder if I she'll stay asleep until she comes. Her breath is a bit laboured now, and I continue to love her breasts, still just suckling softly and light scrapes of my teeth, my fingers closing in.  
  
Afterwards they kissed and straightened their clothes, walking hand in hand out of there. I don't think they ever noticed that I was there.  
  
Later they went by the Bronze, and Buffy placed herself on Faith's lap. Really. It was all there. You just have to know what to look for.  
  
She's wet already, ready and open. Her clit is swollen, begging to be touched, and I just love the way I get to tease her. I stroke her outer lips a little, smearing the wetness over her thighs, just to  
feel that's she's this ready for me.  
  
She's whimpering softly, and her head's tossing slowly. I slide one finger into her, I never get enough of how I make her, and I never get enough of her. I start a slow rhythm, while I'm still caressing her breasts, and I know she won't last long, even in her sleep she's moving her hips to  
my rhythm. I add another finger and her breath hitch slightly. I rub her clit with my thumb, and she's starting to clench around my fingers.  
  
I lift my head, and I fuck her harder, rubbing her clit.She's whimpering louder now, her head tossing violently, her breath coming in short gasps. And then I push her over, her inner walls clench around my fingers, trying to draw them further in, her eyes fly open as a scream  
escapes her, her hips bucking. She wraps her arms around my neck, pulling me down to her,  
whispering into the kiss.  
  
Whispers that she loves me, that she'll always be mine.  
  
I know I'm crying as I whisper back.

And can't help to be grateful that I was always fascinated when you passed me by.  
TBC? 


	6. In The Harsh Light of Day

Title: In The Harsh Light Of Day  
  
Series: Met Nater  
  
Dawn POV  
  
--------------------------------  
  
I thought some kind of demon was loose. People was moving back to Sunnydale. Faith and Cordelia. And Kate, but she's not really moving back, she never lived here before.  
  
Who would want to live in Sunnydale? I know I don't. I know everyone thought I was going to get really freaked when Faith came back, and that really shows how well they know me. I mean, hello! Finch was an accident, and the rest, well, she never really meant it. I know. Faith's not bad, she just got on a wrong track. And I really don't think Buffy jamming a knife in her stomach really helped.  
  
Faith is good Faith again, she even calls me kiddo, and I think that's a good sign. She spends a lot of time with Kate, I don't really know what they do, but there's no way they're just searching.  
  
Kate is really cool, she doesn't talk to me like I'm a child. Cordy has changed too, from bitch to almost mush. Well, not completely, she still bitch at Xander, and she laughs of how protective Anya is of him. That's kind of funny, cause I swear no one gets to touch Kate. Would be easier if she wore a sign saying: "I'm Cordelia's, hands off!"  
  
You should see Cordelia when she and Kate is walking Darion, that's their Golden Retriever puppy, and she has this goofy smile on her face, holding Kate's hand.  
  
They aren't shy like Willow and Tara, I catch them kissing all the time. It doesn't bother me, I mean, we live on the Hellmouth. Being gay doesn't count as weird here. And with Willow and Tara and all, it wasn't exactly a shock, except that one part of the couple was Cordelia.  
  
I miss Buffy a lot, but it helps that Faith is here, she reminds me in a strange way of everything Buffy was to me. She acts like a big sister in ways, only way cooler. She's teaching me to fight, not like her or Buffy, but so that I can defend myself, since we live in an area where the demon concentration is 300% above the global level. See, I do listen to Kate.  
  
Cordelia and Anya turned out to be the perfect financial match, and agree's on every sentence where "money" is present. Buffy would have cracked up at seeing them, sitting at a table, heaps of papers in neat stacks, both wearing glasses, looking through the stock quotes, discussing what they should buy and sell. It's hilarious, I swear. But it does so that Faith doesn't have to work, and I know that's a big help. Kate trains her now, and Spike sparrs with her.  
  
He get's hurt more often than not, but never serious. Jail really made Faith strong, you can see the well defined muscles flex right beneath the skin now. I think she could even win a fight against Buffy. She moves really fluidly, and she's a lot calmer than how I remember her.  
  
All the boys at school drools when she picks me up, and when I tell her she laughs long and raw, and tells me that none of them has a chance what so ever.  
  
She misses Buffy too, she never says so, but it's in her eyes when her name is mentioned, when she see's a picture of her, when she walks around her room, we left it untouched.  
  
She thinks no one knows, but it's really obvious.  
  
I hope you're ok Buffy, wherever you are. I miss you always, I'll never forget. 

Cause every morning it seems like you're standing there in the harsh light of day.  
  
TBC? 


	7. Never Do More Than Survive

Title: Never Do More Than Survive  
  
Series: Met Nater  
  
Spike POV  
  
-------------------  
  
This place was a bloody mess when Buffy died. Then Willow hacked the brunette snack thing out of jail, and things started to get back to normal. Not all normal, but closer, if nothing. The Poof even visits sometimes, to check on his precious slayer, like his got some bloody owner certificate or something on her.  
  
And former prim and proper Miss Chase of course. Dragging a blonde cop and that even blonder dog with her. See, there's a perfectly good reason to why I don't drink water. Everyone around this joint is jumpin' over the fence, and they're all gulping it down.  
  
The dog seems to cheer Faith up though. She goes on walks with it, rolls in the grass with it and though she swears on everything dear to her to Kate, I know she's been feeding that dog when no one sees it. It's in the way the wicked ball o' fur runs straight to her when she enters a room. Always the same gross routine, Faith picks the squirming thing up so it can lick her lips.  
  
Ok, so I'd do the same, but there's no telling where that pink-ever- hanging-out-of-the-breadhole thing has been. A dog was a good influence, that much I know. Everyone wants to walk it or play with the bloody blonde thing. Not me though. Nothing that I'll bloody likely admit at least.  
  
I don't miss Buffy as much as people seem to believe. Why does everyone think I had a crush on Ms Clairol, huh? That's the poof. For me, it's always been Drusilla, and that's not about to change just because some blonde little slayer came along. The brunette version of slayer I can't say the same for though. She' got it friggin' bad. Always did.  
  
Another proof of that people here are bloody blind. They weren't just slaying at Faithy's last trip to the dale. I wasn't here right then, but I've heard stories. Big fans of nature I hear. Alleys too.

Faith broods almost as good as peaches sometimes, but she at least cheers up sometimes, unlike a certain poof who drinks his daily mug of pig and slays some badass afterwards.

Xander is a bloody hilarious sight, every time he sees Cordy and her blonde plaything he sighs like he's thinking about his macho ability to turn his girlfriends gay.  
  
Willows blonde is so calm it's sickening sometimes, but she doesn't jump to conclusion's like the rest of the Broody Bunch. She coulda been a shrink, lotsa better paid too. I chat with her sometimes. Makes me think that I might not be just a vampire, but I'm sure as hell no human.  
  
But I don't know what I've got left to live for, guess I'll never do more than survive.  
  
TBC? 


	8. With These Things I'll Never Say

Title: With these things i'll never say  
  
Series: Met Nater  
  
-----------------------------  
  
Time. It's all relative, you know? Days pass, I smoke, fuck, slay, and that's it. I don't feel time.  
I guess that's how a slayer should live anyways. This way, we don't have to worry about dying from anyone. Just too bad it's too late for that.  
  
I have too many friends, and they always make sure I know that they care. Hell, even Spike cares, who'dda thunk it? Dead boy, sure, but he loves anyone who's not denying their chance at changing, redemption and such. And a heartbeat is preferrable.  
  
Oh god, here we go AGAIN…  
  
I hear some noises, I sit on the tombstone, and I wait for a hand to break through the mud. Yep. Are we on schedule? If I wore a watch I would see if they're all this slow or if it's just me.  
They just woke up to a life where they're stronger than anyone, and it takes them a lousy 15 minutes to dig out of a grave? Are we talking waste or what. I'm not going to be the first to  
applaude Lucifer on picking the smartest ones out to be her minions.  
  
"Woozy?" He turns, his eyes all yellow. Yikes. "Didn't anyone tell you that white and yellow is out this season pal?" All fanged out, 5 bucks he thinks he's gonna suck me dry.  
  
"Sorry, not tonight shorty." Poof. I love that sound. It's so, refreshing, one could say. Yeech, even blondies way of speech is rubbing off on me. Buffy did all this so much better than me. Then again, she had watchers all the time, even if she saw Merrick die, that's nothing  
against seeing Kakistos slay Jess infront of me. Nothing.  
  
I think she would have liked Sunnydale now. All happy-happy. Except for that she's gone, of course. Kate and Cordy. And they say cops are usually the butch ones. Bah. I don't think either of em can even spell it.  
  
Willow and Tara. Pink cotton candy if I ever saw it, they remind me of those small, utterly adorable animal babies B was so fond of.  
  
Spike all courtsy towards Dru, who got back in town. Apparantly, the demon got too boring, and nothing could quite cheer her up as Spikey can. And William does his best, I'm sure. I hear Miss Edith holds her tea parties daily.  
  
Xander and Anya, well, they're X-man and demon chick. He still have trouble finding words, she's still as subtle as a bulldozer. Nothing new there.  
  
Dawn, well, I think she has a boyfriend, I guess I should actually talk to her sometime, let her know I appreciate our friendship. I haven't been big on the talking with the living lately.  
  
Even G-man has a chick, believe it or not.  
  
And old girl Darla is back in town, and she blows em all away. I'm laughing, but I have good reasons to. I mean, leave it to me to bond with a 400 and something year old vampire who's brought more death and tragedy on the world than Angelus, and then share her bed.  
  
But you know, everyone softens up a bit when they get a soul. And she's horribly sarcastic too knife-sharp dry humor, one of few I know who doesn't need swords to cut things to pieces.. Every god damned day you can bet she will bug me about the frickin' pig blood until I agree to help her rob one of SunnyD's numerous blood banks.  
  
Wicked easy, considering that all of this town's dictionaries conveniently left out the explanation of "security" and replaced it with a picture of an open door instead.  
  
Sides, she's got style, and hooked herself up with the finest joint this place could cough up. Not some creepy little crypt, but a nice, big, expensive place decorated with lots and lots of her ancient stuff and curtains thick enough to dodge bullets. And there's a jacuzzi. No wonder I stay there so much. If I can't have my favorite blonde, I'll settle for next best, and she's without a doubt that.  
  
That's how I get my kicks these days, trailing the streets and graveyards, lusting for action, before I retreat back to the heart of this town, back to the safety of the dark behind those walls.

Hiding from the light of day, all alone with these things I'll never say.  
  
TBC 


	9. She'll Just Never Know

Title: She'll Just Never Know  
  
Series: Met Nater  
  
Kate POV  
  
--------------  
  
Ignorance is a bliss, and for my slayer it became the end. –Cedric Longworth, 1884  
  
I never thought it would be this hard. Reading about slayers in the past, and seeing how alike and different they all are. I put the book down, just staring out in the room. In the end of the older ones lives, they usually gave up, caring less and less about what was going on around them. If you call 16 old, that is. And with every line I read, the chant in my head won't stop.  
  
This is Faith!  
  
And it is. More and more with every day that passes. I saw her when she turned herself in, and I visoted her in jail, and she was never like this. There was always some kind of hope in her eyes, a mischiveous glint, reminding you of the pranks she loved so much.  
  
Now she's ignorant to it all. I see her every now and then, when she checks in to see if anything big is on. And leaves again, to god only knows where. I see her in the bar sometimes, or in the clubs, dancing with anyone and everyone.  
  
Withouth Buffy, I realize.  
  
There was a bond there, that goes beyond everything, even death, I suspect. Growing from inside, tearing on her, threathening to blow any moment. All the pain, confusion anger and hate she's felt is starting to deteriorate her, now when her equal isn't here to keep the balance.  
  
Light and dark, good and bad. So obvious, not just differences, but two weights made to keep the scale neutral. She can't live without the light, like light couldn't truly live without her either. Daia is sleeping in the other chair, Cordelia's going to have a fit if she sees it. For a whole of 30 seconds. She's not at all bitchy underneath it all.  
  
I look around this room, and the sorrow strikes me, as always. All these books, one for each slayer, and it's not even all of them. All lived and died fighting evil, and they did their best. With watchers controlling their lives to every little detail. And the funny thing is, Buffy and Faith, who both has had extremely little discipline, are the two that have lived the longest.  
  
Faith survived because she had to prove to herself that she was better than what she was raised to believe, later for love. Buffy lived for love, and gave the greatest sacrifice of all for it.  
Both young and full of life, both prepared and scared to die. I look at my watch and realize how late it has gotten. I turn off the lights and walk to the bathroom, dutifully brushing my teeth and changing into a light nightgown. I open the door to the bedroom, and just stay there, watching her as she reads "Shopoholic In New York", totally engrossed in it.  
  
She lowers the book when I close the door behind me, and smiles, putting the book down on the nightstand, making sure her bookmark is where it's supposed to be. The same moment I get into bed, she's over me, kissing me softly, and my hands reacts on instinct, tangling in her hair.  
  
And it strikes me that how much I love her, she'll just never know. 

TBC


	10. Never Be More Than Alive

Title: Never Be More Than Alive(10/?)  
  
Series: Met Nater  
  
Darla POV  
  
---------------------  
  
Night, such a wonderful time, wouldn't you agree? Not bothered about the dreadful rays of light that haunts the day, instead staying pure and ready, ready for anything. Everything so much prettier, so hard to believe it hides the worst secrets of all.  
  
Sunnydale isn't exactly a world metropol, but it does ok if your goal is only to stroll around and look at the curiousities. Like that ex cop and the tall brunette getting it on. Never heard of curtains dear? No? all the better for me then. Quite the show, cracks the whole puke worthy mushy sugar deal. Never knew they had it in them, I must be slacking.  
  
And there's my great grand childe, how charming. Entertaining Dru I suppose, my little girl. Angelus might have turned her, but he never quite understood. She wasn't meant for him. Too gentle, breakable, and still one of the most vicious creatures on earth. Oh yes, a walking contradiction if there ever was one. I could probably walk right past them without him noticing me, but Dru have already sensed me.  
  
"Grandmum! Grandmum!" She comes running, embracing me tightly. Spkie following, faking his apparent disinterest.  
  
"Drusilla, Spike." I make sure to say the last name dripping with cold sarcasm.  
  
"I sent the birds to find you grandmum, the stars said you would come." Again with the birds and the stars… I suppose that's what you get when you drive a seer insane before you turn her. Such a precious little thing though.  
  
I take a drag of the cigarette, borrowed from Faiths pack, a Prince. How fitting. A prince of darkness indeed, the way they throw those pesky numbers of deaths caused by them every year at you from everywhere.  
  
"Yes Dru, so the birds told me." Sometimes, I prefer to simply play her little game, it delights her so. "No matter how much I would have loved to stay here and chat, I have things to do." I take one last look at Dru before I start to leave.  
  
"Yes, off, off you go!" Drusilla adds in her singsong voice, already drifting off into her own little world again, just as I walk soundlessly into this one, which has come to give itself it's name, it's identity; completely mine.  
  
And as the dark surrounds me again, and I smile as thoughts of all the pityful humans I have seen flash through my mind, laughter rumbles in my chest as I once again can revel in the fact that, in   
difference to me, they'll never be more than alive.  
  
TBC 


	11. I'm The 'Bad Girl', The 'Loose One' The ...

Title: I'm The 'Bad Girl,' The 'Loose One,' The 'Whore.' (11/?)  
  
Series: Met Nater  
  
3rd person POV  
  
------------------  
  
In this dark smoky club, the beat is vibrating through me, and I feel the surge of all these young bodies grinding together, like fire ravaging away. Then, alone, but surrounded, I feel her. Dancing in her own little world, not caring about those who courts her, trying to get closer, trying to touch.  
  
Swaying to the beat, eyes closed, her breathing ragged. She always loved this, a couple of drinks, just to get a buzz, the loud music and the others around her. It's as if something is missing. She's doing it to fill a need, to do something, to try to feel alive for once. To rid herself of thoughts that wont go away, of the voices that never stop throwing guilt at you.  
  
Throwing all morals she might have had, tonight's her night, no-one infront, no-one's an equal, just her, in the mass, a prime of her species, a lonely hunter, selecting her prey.  
  
She moves slowly around, knowing that if there's a right one, it'll come forward, and she'll let it. She seems unaware of the existence of everyone around her, but in her pretty little head all those senses are making her brain work in high gear to narrow down the selection.  
  
Somewhat irritated, but not allowing it to show, she comes to the bar and stands mere inches apart from me, though she doesn't really know, she orders something strong, hoping the slayer metabolsim will let this one work just a little longer than the others.  
  
Slamming it back, she doesn't even notice the burning in her throat, it'll be gone in a second anyways. Turning around, she gives the crowd an appreciating glance, licks her lips and moves back into them.  
  
Which one did'ya pick sweets? The brown haired girl, or the blue eyed guy who gave you those longing looks just a minute ago. Neither? No? What a shame, they're both so pretty, but I guess none worthy you. No, you should have something with class babe, even if you don't know it. Something like that blonde that's somewhat out of reach these days. You'll try to replace her, but not quite sure you can.  
  
Getting into the last fase, she's locked eyes on a girl, prettier than the others, just arrived, and moves subtly closer. I turn my attention for a moment, looking at the Seer, the cop and the two withces, aware of what she's doing, but they know they can't stop it. Not in this world, not in this time.  
  
I turn back to the slayer, sipping the last of my scotch, shrugging on my coat, leaving a generous tip for the bartender. She's dancing with the pretty blonde haired girl, who's currently snaking herself around her, touching uncovered flesh, following the animal rhythm my girl has set. Oh no, she doesn't want to impress, because she doesn't need to. The grinding of her hips is enough, and maybe, for tonight, she'll find someone who'll treat her gently, because Faith doesn't want a frantic fuck tonight; just a break from the cool she's gotten so used to.  
  
Oh yes slayer, have fun tonight, find your reasons, fight your fight. I'll be back before you know it, I'll find your fate, trust my word, hurry now, still not too late. They're moving towards the exit, Faith's hand on girl's lower back, moving her swiftly along, don't get no ideas of whom she belongs to.  
  
I pass a few steps infront of them, just making sure I can hear what they're saying, not that I need to, but there's not much else to do.

"What's your name?" Faithy asks, not much of interest, but she's heard it's polite.  
  
"Jenna. Who are you?" She asks, that sweet little voice tickling all the right places.  
And I swear the girl chuckles softly and thinks it exotic and new as Faith smirks devilishly as she whispers her answer seductively in her ear;  
  
"I'm the bad girl, the loose one, the whore."  
  
TBC? 


	12. I Refuse To Continue To Live

Title: I Refuse To Continue To Live  
  
Series: Met Nater (12/?)  
  
Willow POV  
  
------------------------------  
  
I can't believe it. Everything's a blur, and I don't know what to do. What to say, how to move, or even sort out my thoughts. Tara, she's...  
  
I don't know what happened, really, it all went so fast, I can't really explain it. I just remember it like it was slow motion, and now i'm going crazy, more every moment, and I don't think death can be so bad, because this feels like dying once every second that passes.  
  
I'm alone, in the forest, it's stupid, I know, but it's not dark yet, so there's no vampires, even though if one should appear right now, I'd probably let them kill me, suck me dry, beg them to take every single drop there's in me.  
  
Lights swirl around me, like fire-flies, only in different colors, they're an after shock, I think, from the magics I used earlier. I'm crying, but I only notice because of my tears, they are blood, and the constant struggle of getting air back into my lungs. I vaguely remember the look on their faces, despair, fright, disbelief.  
  
I felt like the villain, disturbing peace, disturbing lives.  
  
This isn't how I expected anything to be, it's not how I wanted it to be. I'm slipping and I have no idea how to stop. It's dark and painful and blood is dripping down on my blouse, and I   
think I know how Faith must have felt. I'm crazy and swirling and dying alone, energized from it all, deprecated by reality.  
  
With this, I decide it ends right here, in this perpetual nightmare,  
  
I refuse to continue to live.  
  
-------------------------------  
  
TBC? 


End file.
